the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
