Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
