Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
