Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
