life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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