I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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