my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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