I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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