I just saw a hot homeless man
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
