yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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