do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He kissed a someone with a penis
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My ATM looks so different sober.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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