Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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