and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
