Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
