How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
