Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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