I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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