I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
