He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
