Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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