I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
