Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize