This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize