i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
