pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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