He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
