You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Terrible idea I love it
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize