Screwed.edu
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
babies were throwing up all over the place
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
