areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
