Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
