Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
