Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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