Me too!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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