You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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