we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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