Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
