My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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