remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
