Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
