My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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