he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
