Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
