Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
