Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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