A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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