He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize