She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
