Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
