Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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