you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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