I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I skipped work to stalk him.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
