Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
