I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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