i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
In America we eat man semen.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
