what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
