I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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