enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize