if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Couch. On fire.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
