Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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