i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
