My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
