it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize