gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
