Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
